Cooking With Sandra Lee

I love reading the blog Food Network Humor, which of course skewers the personalities on FN. One recent entry about the comments left on Sandra Lee's recipes on the FN Web site had me in stitches. These are real comments, from real people who have tried making the "Semi-Ho Made" crap that Sandy advocates. I went to the FN site and found a few gems of my own.

For instance, check out this comment on her "wonton soup."

-I never liked Oriental food until I started making Sandra's recipes. I used to hate eating in Oriental Restaurants because you never quite knew what you were eating or how it was made. And all those sauces just confused me. But I watched her make these great recipes on her show and they really didn't look anything like what I was served in the Oriental Restaurant so I decided to try them myself. And I am so gald I did! None of Sandra's recipes taste anything like the food at the Oriental Restaurant!! Plus, I know what is in them and they don't have complicated sauces. THANKS SANDRA LEE!!

"Oriental," eh? Racist much?

This one is for her "Chinese Braised Short Ribs."

-...I did the very same thing...MADE THESE FOR MY BOYFRIEND and I haven't seen him since. He has also parental controlled my TV--his exact words, "NO MORE SLOP FOR YOU." I guess my sweetie has standards when it comes to his ribs.

And these are for a recipe called "Chicken Masala" which calls for condensed cream of chicken soup.

-I LOVE Indian food, so I was excited about this recipe, but much to my dismay, this was just gross. Somewhere between the coconut milk and the creamy chicken soup and the overkill of curry, this was a disaster. The result was an ultra-rich, slightly sweet chicken entree which found its way right into the kitchen trash within 5 minutes of being cooked. The curry smell lingered in the air for days, and stunk up my kitchen for a week.

-No recipe deserves one star. This one deserves zero. But unfortunately that wasn't an option.

-Nothing says Indian like condensed cream of chicken soup. Except maybe booze in yogurt. Sandra, must you be as stupid as all your fans?

Ugh. Just looking at her recipes makes me queasy. Why would anyone attempt them? And don't give me that bullshit about "quick and easy" and "I don't have time to cook." Just admit you're lazy as hell.